Sometimes I think I enjoy teaching middle school so much because I still feel like a middle schooler on the inside. I can be disorganized. I sometimes feel like I'm juggling a ton of plates that might also be on fire, and I never know when one or all of them might fall.
Sometimes I do a good job holding it together. Kind of like when a friend says they're coming over only 5 minutes before they show up (maybe this is another non-adult thing I do) and to create the illusion of cleanliness, all the clutter gets shoved into closets, baskets, under beds, etc. If you can't see the clutter, then it isn't there. Right, Konmari? (Just kidding, she'd have a heart attack if she walked into my house.)
Sometimes I can go a full day or even a week without feeling lost, overwhelmed, or like I made any poor life choices. But then something creeps in... like having a trader-joes ice cream sandwich and a glass of wine for dinner because I don't feel like cooking. Forgetting to re-order my dog's heartworm pills and making her go 2 or 3 days after the recommended application date before she's properly medicated. Not understanding retirement accounts at all- 403B? 401K? Who knows! Laughing when a 7th grader makes a fart noise. Letting my laundry baskets pile up to an unreasonable degree... you get the idea.
Sometimes I wonder if every adult actually feels this way and everyone else is just concealing these thoughts and habits too. I guess I may never know the truth. But if you're a little like me, a middle schooler in a 31 year old body, then hopefully this slice makes you feel a little better.